Ms. Birthmom...

Choose...

How many times have I heard

the word "choose" in this sense?

That I CHOSE not to Parent

a child of my womb.

That I CHOSE not to Love

a piece of my Soul.

That I CHOSE not to hear

his very first laugh.

That I CHOSE not to hold him

deep into the night.

That I CHOSE not to help him

walk his very first step.

What I REALLY did "CHOOSE" was

A family to Love him

as much as they could.

A house to be his home

with his very own bed.

A better Life than I could provide

In my circumstance.

And although I know that I can never have back

those thing that I've never lost.

I know that he has them.

And that must be enough.

To the parents who I "chose". Thank you.

© Cherie Leonard

Wordless Wednesday

A little discussed subject.

Something I don't talk about to often is the relationships I had with my boys' birth fathers.   Everyone assumes that they were one night stands gone awry.  In actuality, I was friends with both of them for many years.  Many years.  We grew up together, went to school together, went to the same church.  

I have found that I miss their friendship.  They were some of my best friends.  We have shared so many memories together that go back way before we had sex.  Getting driver's licenses, traveling the world, high school dances, and so much more.  

Yes, because of them I gained something that is so precious, but I also lost something precious.  I lost friendships that were once in a life time kinds of things.  

While I continue to talk and be friends (although it isn't the same as it was) with one of the bio dads, the other has completely blocked even the memory of me from his mind.  

I miss the camaraderie and companionship.  Friendships are hard to find.  Hold on to yours.

Ms. Birthmom

Moving on...

Going through this whole adoption process has taught me many things.  Most of all it has taught me  that life does go on.  Yes, you think about it every day ,but it doesn't consume you.  I will always think of my boys, but I have to deal with other things as well.  Things like Laundry, groceries, and taking care of me and mine.  I have also learned that the boys will always know that I love them and they can ask me anything.  

Keep on learning,

Ms. Birthmom

Wordless Wednesday

Another Blog Award!!!

Thank you.  I am so glad that I am able to receive this...  Thank you for reading!

HOOKED ON YOUR BLOG Award

This award comes from Cyn of The Good Enough Witch. It's the Hooked on Your Blog Award. The rules and regulations of the award are:

1. List six things that make you happy.

2. Pass the award on to five bloggers you know.

3. Link to these five bloggers and leave them a comment to let them know they are an award recipient.

4. Link back to the person who sent you the award.

Six happy things: 

*My Senior Airman Hubby

*Watching my boys grow up with WONDERFUL families

*Hanging with my best pal, Cheryl

*Making jewelry that makes people smile

*Painting pottery at those "paint-your-own" pottery places

*Garfield comics

And the award goes to...

Mrs. Staff Sergeant

Military Mama

Not Martha

Eric Wakeling

Stretch mark Mama

Pass this along!!!!

Ms. Birthmom

The Name Game...

When I was pregnant, I began to make a list of names.  Of both genders, just in case.  When I had decided to make an adoption plan, I threw that list out the window.  I felt like I had no right to name these children.  

After talking to the couples, I was pleasantly surprised.  Both couples either asked for my input, or used my history to name their boys. Knowing that I had a part in naming them, just confirms that this was the right choice.  

I know, I keep coming back to whether or not this was the right choice.  All these things reconfirm every day that I did indeed make the right choice.  

Ms. Birthmom

Wordless Wednesday

Very special indeed!

This weekend was amazing.  I got to spend special time with both my boys.  We played games,  read stories and just hung out.  They got to show me what Santa had brought them for christmas and what was special to them.  We laughed and had a few melt downs (them, not me)!  All of us, parents, kids and me, we then took pictures together.  All seven of us.  Those pictures will be an awesome reminder of how we all came together as a family.  The experience was awesome.  It will live on in each of our memories forever.  Thank you for the visit!!!

Ms. Birthmom

Very exciting weekend...

I am very happy to let you all know that I get to do something most birth parents get to do.   I get to go take photos with my boys and their families.  All of us, together in one photo.  That is history in the making.  Three parts of one, coming together to make something greater.  I am so lucky.  I get to be a part of this!  I can't wait!

Ms. Birthmom